Adoption Network Cleveland is incredibly lucky to have an energetic core of volunteers who add significantly to the capacity of the organization and our ability to provide services. Our General Discussion Meeting and Support Group Facilitators are an exceptionally committed group of volunteers – they give their own time, energy, and spirit to support others by facilitating our monthly meetings. It takes an individual with a patient ear, calming demeanor, and understanding heart to guide others in an exercise of listening to perspectives. For those who have attended a General Discussion Meeting, DNA Discovery Support Group, or Birth Mother Support Group, it can be an empowering and thought-provoking experience. They provide both a safe space to be among those who understand your adoption experience, but also at the same time, challenge long-held beliefs about ourselves and other members of the adoption constellation.
We would like to say, “THANK YOU!” to each of our facilitators – you are changing lives and building an essential community of support.
As a way to provide an introduction to our facilitators for those of you who may not have been to a meeting or a meeting with different facilitators, we asked all of our facilitators to share a bit about themselves and why they chose to be volunteer facilitators. Barbara and Dan, who facilitate our original virtual meeting on the fourth Thursday of each month at 8 pm ET, both joined in on the fun.
Barbara:
1. How are you personally connected to the adoption community?
I am an Ohio-born adoptee who was adopted at birth.
2. How did you become involved with Adoption Network Cleveland?
I became involved with Adoption Network Cleveland many years ago because I was seeking a copy of my original birth certificate and any information I could find about my biological origins. They were very helpful but limited because the law at that time prohibited me from getting my information.
3. What keeps you involved with Adoption Network Cleveland?
What keeps me involved is my gratitude to Betsie and other advocates for their tireless efforts to ensure that all Ohio adoptees had an opportunity to obtain their original birth records. It provides a way for me to give back to a cause that I am passionate about.
4. How long have you been a General Discussion Meeting facilitator?
I have been a facilitator for about three years now.
5. What do you like most about being a facilitator?
I like being able to participate in providing a safe space for mutual support and relationship building among the adoption constellation.
6. What has been the most meaningful or “ah-ha!” moment that you have experienced in a meeting?
My a-ha moment is the realization that facilitating a meeting is not about controlling as it is relinquishing. My job is to insure a safe and supportive space yet relinquish my judgments and expectations. For that reason, it seems, every meeting has been powerful in its own right. The bonus is, that I get to be there as a witness.
7. Has being a facilitator made you see your own experiences in a different light? If so, how?
Yes absolutely! Listening to others in the meetings share has given me insights to help me to navigate the complexities of my own adoption journey! They made me more comfortable with being uncomfortable. Whether it’s “the good, the bad, or the ugly”, it's OK.
8. What is your best advice for someone who is new to a Meeting or thinking about coming to their first meeting?
Know that you are welcome with open arms! You are with people who understand! There is no pressure for you to participate. Have no expectations. Come as you are. I hope that because of your experience, you will decide to come back.
Dan:
1. How are you personally connected to the adoption community?
I am an Adoptee.
2. How did you become involved with Adoption Network Cleveland?
I was told about Adoption Network Cleveland by a friend and just decided one night to go to the Rocky River Meeting.
3. What keeps you involved with Adoption Network Cleveland?
I love how the whole community wants to help everyone. Being able to be part of that is a great feeling. Adoption Network Cleveland has helped me so much personally; I say it all the time, I am forever in debt to everyone there. It is a debt I can never repay.
4. How long have you been a General Discussion Meeting facilitator?
I believe it was around October of 2019, so about two years.
5. What do you like most about being a facilitator?
I love helping to give a place for the Adoption community to come together, help one another, and heal.
6. What has been the most meaningful or “ah-ha!” moment that you have experienced in a meeting?
There are two. At the very first meeting sitting across from two couples that introduced themselves as birth mothers and birth fathers. I had never met anyone that had relinquished a child for adoption, so that was an “oh my, they are real” moment. And the second was meeting other adoptees that didn’t like the holidays, which really did help me feel “normal.”
7. Has being a facilitator made you see your own experiences in a different light? If so, how?
Not really. For me being a facilitator at a meeting and being in a meeting as a participant is completely different. As a facilitator, I am focused on making sure the meeting is running smoothly. I am also watching the participants for any problems, questions, or concerns that I or my co-facilitator can help with. As a participant, I can be there for myself, I can let myself, for the lack of better words, feel without any distractions.
8. What is your best advice for someone who is new to a Meeting or thinking about coming to their first meeting?
Just go. You don’t have to participate if you don’t want to - you can just sit and listen. You may or may not get very emotional during the meeting, which is actually quite normal.
Thank you, Barbara and Dan, for leading the way during our transition to virtual General Discussion Meetings in 2020. Your experience and guidance at a critical time during the pandemic allowed Adoption Network Cleveland to continue to provide services during a vulnerable time for everyone.
